Thanks

I have gone through the entries on this blog over and over again and it's great to see how many people loved Gretchen. Some of you I have met, others I haven't. Each time I read the entries on Gretchen's Page it puts me in tears. None of us ever understood the demons Gretchen faced and none of ever will. She meant a lot to all of us, but I don't know if she ever realized how much her friends and her family loved her and cared about her. To this day, I will never understand why she lost touch with us for two years when I was fighting for my life. One of my friends made a comment that sent chills up my spine. She said, "One sister fought so hard to live, while the other sister fought so hard to die." I will never understand why she could just disappear for months on end and not let us know how she was doing, call or even send an email.
Gretchen, how could you do this again? Why did you have to succeed this time? From the few emails I have received from Misha he truly loved you and from what dad told me Julie said about your party you seemed so happy. You had your whole life ahead of you. I know when you turned 25 you called me and told me how you thought you were so old at 25 and you pointed out how you were halfway to 50 already. I teased you and said well you will always be a year ahead of me. How can your 28th birthday be the end? Your life was way to short. You were intelligent, beautiful and you had your whole life ahead of you.
I was never able to tell you John and I are now engaged and you won't be around to see me walk down the aisle.
Everytime you disappeared you always showed up and we could catch up on everything we had missed and now we can't. You would be so proud of Tedd, he finally graduated from Southern Oregon University and he has grown up a lot. You can actually have an adult conversation with him and his replies are full sentences. You never found out I got promoted to Interim Unit Executive Director in my office. I wasn't given the official position because my boss knew due to my engagement, I'd eventually go to Orlando to be with John. But I couldn't have asked for a better job or co-workers. It's the best job for me in the world. What could be better than meeting other cancer survivors, sharing our survival stories and having fun at the Relay For Life events. I was even given an award for my dedication to the American Cancer Society and getting the LaBelle Relay For Life back on their feet and getting the Charlotte County Relay For Life back on track after Hurricane Charlie.
I have so much more to say to you Gretchen but I can't think right now....