"Lewis and Clark"

Until I wrote the below list, I'd totally forgotten about playing "Lewis and Clark."

I think that the game was some kind of reaction to growing up in suburbia, where there was no new ground to discover. We used to go to Valley Forge park and try to get lost. It's pretty impossible. You head into the woodyiest thicket you can find. The overgrowth gets thicker, you head in that direction. You definitely try to head *away* from the sound of cars.

The first time that we played was in Strafford. I think that we had been at Jen Hartman's house with Rachel. It was drizzeling a bit. I think we all decided to walk through the woods on the theory that we'd get less wet. I think we may have spent hours wandering around. I think Jen was bored for most of it.

In the park, it was really hard to get lost. I know that park relatively well now though -- from all of the times that we tried. The best we ever did was out behind Devil's Road by the service station. I think that there are old quarries back there. Rachel had freaked me out about that place with vague insinuations of sinster activites. It was terrifying at night, so Gretch and I went there during the day. We tried to get lost. We got the closest that we ever had to being 'lost' [it required a lot of suspension of disbelief] -- we were behind such thick brush that, although we could see where the road should be, we couldn't actually *get* to it. I think that we had to get on our tums and bellycrawl under things. I remember seeing a place where deer definitely slept and being impressed. That was in June of my senior year.

Things were never the same after I went away to college. I guess that's just normal. Rachel visited me a couple of times, but Gretchen was never allowed. We talked. She was in the hospital a few times. I came home in May and went to the Conestoga Senior Prom becuase Gretchen and Megan begged me to. I remember, at the prom, they played NIN's "Closer" and Dr. Pollack (our principal) was very much unprepared for 500 or so students chanting "I wanna fuck you like an animal." Gretchen was so amused by that.

Honestly, it's very possible that I'm mixing up memories from my senior prom and Gretchen's. A lot of my memories from middle school and high school kind of blend together that way. For the most part, they blend into a terrifyingly bright picture of giggly all-nighters, too many pixie stix, moshpits to "Bohemian Rhapsody" at high school dances, and energy.

Gretchen and I had drifted apart in the last few years, but we always stayed in touch. My mom used to say that Gretchen and I fed off each other -- we could be so much more hyper together than we could ever have mustered apart. I feel like the part of me that's manic, spontaneous, and ready for anything is gone without her. I know it's not true, but it won't be quite the same without her.

-Christine

things which make me think of Gretchen

-"It's Raining Men!"
-the chickendance song
-peanut butter and pickle sandwiches
-the idea of doing cartwheels in high heels
-TV production
-moseying
-pop philosophy
-Trivial Pursuit
-"The Sound of Music"
-Skid Row
-"Grease"
-tall blonde girls (seen from behind)
-anyone calling me "Chrissy," possibly for the rest of my life
-spending hours and hours walking around Chesterbrook
-hangin' out at Genuardis
-'scientific' experiments on starburst candies (hint: they don't smoosh when run over by a car)
-playing "Lewis and Clark" and getting totally lost in the woods
-sneaking out to go to Burger King
-sleepovers, so many sleepovers
-planning parties
-Super Sick Totally Disgusting Sundaes (any sundae with more than 7 toppings)
-the little blue Oldsmobile
-alpha
-gold star confetti
-"Rock the Vote"
-bad teenage poetry
-the King of Prussia Mall ca. 1992
-sour patch kids
-super bounce balls
-talking about boys
-terrorizing people with a video camera
-choral probation
-"Grease"
-trips to Long Island (with my parents)
-bad romance novels
-bad early 90s hair bands
-YMCA
-ee cummings
-"Total Eclipse of the Heart"
-talking shit about Mr. Smedley
-thinking up "Skip"'s nickname
-cutting 8th period TV class to go the McDonalds
-cafeteria runs
-driving down the scary road of demons in Valley Forge National Park (they've widened it now, it's no where near as scary)
-Dennys in the middle of the night
-learning how to wear makeup
-fancy underwear
-big sunglasses
-lost potential
-regret

I'll never get to talk to her again; I miss her.
-Christine

A Sleepover

Gretchen didn't come back to Philadelphia much after she moved to Long Island. I can only remember two or three trips. The one where she and Langdon and I went to L'Etage (earlier photos), and this one where she and Christine wound up at my house. Langdon was also supposed to wind up at my house, but Langdon had a date. As penalty for having a date, Langdon received some very loud and moderately incoherent voicemails around three o'clock in the morning, some of which were just the three of us screaming the lyrics to "It's Raining Men" at top volume. (Fortunately, my old apartment was fairly secluded, and I could make all the noise I wanted without bothering anyone.) I believe Dave probably also received a voicemail or two. I went to bed in my room, Christine in the front guest room and Gretchen in the little guestroom at the back of the third floor, but this proved to be no fun at all, and we all wound up in Christine's bed in time to leave voicemails for people before passing out. I remember waking up and diving for our cell phones to check the outgoing call history to find out who needed to be called with an explanation. This was May of 2003.

Gretchen was very proud of herself for driving all the way down from New York in her new Audi. It was one of her longest drives on her own. Did we go to South Street? I know that we went to the King of Prussia mall the next day, because I remember going to Nordstrom Rack and the sportsbar in the same part of the mall. We refused to take our sunglasses off in the sportsbar, and we insisted on ordering orange juice and triple sec, which is what we occasionally used to drink in high school, on the extremely rare occasions we did drink. At Nordstrom Rack, we were so beside ourselves having laughed for over twenty-four hours straight, that Gretchen wound up waving around the largest underwear she could find, and it sent us into convulsions. I'm sure we were the most obnoxious customers that day.

More photos

I had forgotten this one. It's a nice picture. One of my trips to visit Gretchen in Long Island, early 2001 I believe.

Somewhere in Long Island? Somewhere with a dog? I'm drawing a blank.

On a trip to Long Island. Gretchen looks nice here. Dave... looks like he must have just gotten up?

Seeing the softer side of Sears at the KoP mall, sometime in high school. 10th grade, maybe? This was one of the first times she and I hung out outside of school.

Gretch

The family memorial was very small. Granny, who lives in Sheffield, was there. Tedd came in from Oregon, Aunt Judy from New Orleans, and Aunt Sarah and her son Patrick were there and they live in Florence, Alabama. My mom and dad and John and I drove up from Florida. It was a long weekend and after a month we finally had the chance to all get together and remember Gretchen. She was laid to rest next to my mother. We had a brief service at the church in Sheffield and then we drove out to the cemetary. She was laid to rest next to our mother, as Gretchen wanted it. We each laid a red rose on the box her remains were in and we said our goodbyes. On Thursday, when I was driving to Clewiston, Florida for my Relay For Life Rally it finally hit me we were finally going to bury Gretchen. With her being so far away in Prague, we knew she was gone but it never really hit home until this weekend. We finally had something visible to show us that Gretchen was gone and seeing the tombstone with her name on it next to my moms was very eerie. At the service, my dad had a story that I never remember hearing. Gretch was in 5th grade and she had to write a paper about hydrogen. My dad saw it and she only had a sentence or two. So my dad gave her all sorts of books and said here you go, now you have a lot of information on the paper. She wrote the paper, and it was about a page and half. Her teacher was going to fail her, because she thought there was no way a 5th grader could write this paper. Well when she sat down and talked to Gretchen, Gretchen explained what it all meant. Gretchen knew more than the teacher and the teacher was amazed. Gretchen was always very intelligent and had such potential. She was very well read and I am not a big reader like my dad and Gretch.
I remember when we were growing up, Gretch and I would pick on Tedd. In our house in Louisiana, our bedrooms had a bathroom between them. So if we locked both of our bedroom doors we had our corner of the house to ourselves and we didn't have to leave to go to the bathroom because we had one right there. Gretchen loved the movie Annie and would sing the songs out on the porch in front of the house. One time when we were in Alabama, I took a picture of Gretchen and she was ready to strangle me and she gave you one of those looks of hers. She had the green face mask on and I thought it was hysterical so I had to take a picture of it. My grandparents in Sheffield, Alabama used to live on the top of a huge cliff. On the 4th of July, there would be a barge on the river below and they would shoot the fireworks off from there. Gretchen, Tedd and I had a lemonade and coke stand and we thought it was the greatest thing. Everyone would sit on our grandparents' lawn to see the fireworks and we would have our little stand. Granny said one summer we each made about $60 and we were running through the house saying we were rich.
Gretchen, Tedd and I would spend hours at Aunt Sarah's house in her pool. Gretchen loved floating around on the raft in the pool and Tedd and I loved flipping it over and dumping her in the pool or jumping right by where she was floating to splash her......oohhh she couldn't stand when we did that.
Gretchen always loved her time with her high school buds, her Hooters gang and all of the adventures you guys would go on. It's been great seeing all of the picturs you guys have posted....the parties, the proms, the trips...etc. Dave thanks for all of the pictures you sent my dad. I was sick at the wedding and just wanted to crawl back in bed so my fever would go away and forgot my camera so it was good seeing all of the wedding pictures again. She was so happy and excited that day. It was good to see that she had finally found happiness and was ready to settle down. She always spoke very highly of your family and she loved being an aunt.
I'll always remember the story of you two coming to Sheffield, Alabama for my granddaddy's 80th birthday and the story Gretchen probably told about 1000 times that weekend about the bottle of scotch and the adventure through the airport you guys had with it.

Gretchen's Family Memorial

Dear Misha, Dave, Christine, Megan, Langdon, Julie, friends of Gretchen's and all,

This morning, September 23, 2006 her family held a Memorial Service for Gretchen. She was laid to rest next to her mother in Sheffield, Alabama. We spent last night and today remembering all the good things about her, the fun times we shared and viewing photos of her life.
It's clear from the messages on this blog that she had many friends with whom she shared the happiest times of her life.
We appreciate the love each of you gave to Gretchen to enrich her life. Thanks so much for the care and the concern you have shown us.
We hope and pray that she is at peace. She will always live in our hearts.

Ted, Bonda, Tedd and Shannon

A Haiku

One of Gretchen's friends from high school emailed this to me. They prefer to remain anonymous.

Warm laughter on top,
Icy death-wish underneath:
A Gretchen sundae.

Gretchen, thanks for being there when I needed you. You were a good friend.

A Dinner to Remember Gretchen in PA

Gretchen's been gone for a month. Thanks everybody for your emails and support, and for contributing to the blog. It's been nice hearing from all of the people who cared about her.

Christine and I have been talking about it a lot, and we still feel that we would like to get together to remember her, and to get closure. We're still looking at the weekend before Christmas. It seems like a terribly busy weekend, but also a time when a lot of us will be here around Berwyn visiting family, so probably the best chance for as many of us to get together as possible. I initially though Saturday, but I know several people are travelling out of this area on Saturday, so how about Friday, December 22nd, around 7:00PM.

Please leave a comment on the blog if you plan to attend. It's not an RSVP, but I need to know approximately how many people we'll have so that I can find a place that can accomodate us. I'm looking at the Main Street Cafe in Berwyn, which is owned by one of our former classmates.

At the dinner, we will collect donations to Light the Night, a leukemia charity for which Gretchen did a lot of work in New York, to donate in her name. I'm not sure about a plan for the rest of the evening. I've never planned something like this before. I'm open to your suggestions. I think that it would be nice if those of us who wanted to had an opportunity to say something or read something about Gretchen. I think Total Eclipse of the Heart should be involved somehow.

Party Group Shot

Judging by the people present, this is certainly my 10th grade (1993?). Possibly the end of it. It's one of my favorite pictures that I have from high school -- I just like the composition -- the attacking pillow fight in the back, Lisa and Dan looking all couply, Sandy up front, Andrea sticking out her feet, me in the middle. I love this picture. It kind of epitomizes all of our high school parties for me.

NY Postcard

*snerk* Well, Megan posted hers, here's mine. I had forgotten that we did this the day before my 18th birthday. That was a tough summer and, at the time, I kind of felt like this was a major turning point back to "normalcy."

After high school photos

Dunkin Donuts in Bryn Mawr was an alternative to Denny's once in a while.
These are from February, 2000.

This one is my favorite.

High school photos

Gretchen, Rick and me. Rick is wearing a rubber chicken. I'm not sure why.
Gretchen, Megan, and Nicole, at a school dance, 10th grade. I made my own dress. We used to wear lots of necklaces.
Another version of the photo of Gretchen and me dressed as prep school girls.
Gretchen, Eric, me, junior prom, 1994-ish?
On the bus after junior prom 1994ish
Gretchen and me on the bus after junior prom. We weren't juniors. It never really mattered.
The play that nearly got us kicked out of school. I think that the date is wrong. I think that it was 1995.

(I got my scanner working.)

New York, August 10-11, 1995

Dear Christine's Mom,

If you are reading this, I promise, this is the one and only time we did anything like this.

Gretchen, Christine, Sandy and I would never borrow Sandy's mom's car and drive to New York City in the middle of the night. We would never drive on the track at Valley Forge Intermediate School. We wouldn't take a glow worm to light our way. We wouldn't get there and realize that we had absolutely nothing to do, and turn around and come home in time for work the next morning. We were good kids.

Really.

Love,
Megan

It's been nearly a month now.

I was doing better until I had that realization.

-Christine

Misha's Song for Gretchen

In going through old emails, I found one from Gretchen where she sent me the song Misha wrote for her.

Misha's Song for Gretchen, Where A Light Comes From

Here are the lyrics:

Where a Light Comes From

There's Angel speaking fierily about hell
There's a land of white laundry and underwear
There are heavy clouds upon Amsterdam
There are words unspoken in Atlantic air

There's a kingdom on rise / There's a kingdom on rise
What I can see is all mine / What I can see is all mine

And somehow the daylight is brighter now
And somehow the sunshine is all around
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars

The boy out of presence is taken back
A stone has been thrown in his well
Morning froze the sheets on the bed
When the fall spreads its arms in his tiny flat

There's a kingdom on rise / There's a kingdom on rise
What I can see is all mine / What I can see is all mine

And somehow the daylight is brighter now
And somehow the sunshine is all around
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars

I can believe in lies / I can believe in lies
What I can see is all mine / What I can see is all mine

And somehow the daylight is brighter now
And somehow the sunshine is all around
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars

I can believe in lies / I can believe in lies
What I can see is all mine / What I can see is all mine

And somehow the daylight is brighter now
And somehow the sunshine is all around
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars
And somehow the sunshine comes from our scars

And somehow are no heaven and no hell
While the angel is sleeping in your bed


Misha records under the name Niceland, http://niceland.wz.cz/.

Another one of Gretchen's charities?

I know Gretchen was involved with Light the Night. It appears that she was also affiliated with this campaign to support the children affected by Hurricaine Katrina:

http://speakup.oxygen.com/campaigns/neworleans/browse/6b960258adf12c757021b8f158bbfb09

If you click on the link to "Unregistered Friends", you'll find her name. I remember that the news of the hurricaine really affected Gretchen. If you read the posts on her livejournal from that time, she talks about it.

Sinking In

Things seem to be sinking in, at least for Christine and me. The initial news was such a shock, and I had gotten used to Gretchen's absences, so it's weird to reconcile the fact that she's really gone this time. I won't get an email from her. She won't show up in a comment on my personal journal. She won't be making any trips back to visit. I'll never get an invitation to her wedding to Misha.

Christine and I have both been posting our crazy memories, which probably make no sense to anyone outside of a select few people. Some of the jokes were exclusive, between Christine and Gretchen, or between Gretchen and me, and they won't make sense to anyone at all. We've been listening to crazy amounts of Bonnie Tyler.

I've gotten some calls and emails over the past couple of weeks from all over the world and from right here in Philadelphia, so I know that people are visiting the page. I'm glad. I hope that it's helping you. And, it's for everyone, not just a few of us. If you're reading, and you want to comment or post, please do. It's a huge comfort to us when you share your memories and thoughts. It doesn't matter if we know you, or if you weren't friends of ours in high school. If you want to post, we would love to hear from you. Just email me (megan_m_young@hotmail.com) and I'll send you an invitation to join the blog.

Seriously, your posts really help me. Shannon's expressions of the future and regrets over things Gretchen will never see, Misha's sweet story of how they met, Dave's post which so perfectly defined spending time with Gretchen, Eve's beautiful poem that Gretchen would have loved, Gretchen's trip to the zoo with Julie, Amy's tribute, Rachel's pictures from high school, Meg's insight into her mindset and the fact that she was at peace with her decision... just knowing that you're out there and you knew her and you loved her and you're thinking about her. It really helps. Thanks, everybody.

Birthdays

It's weird, but I can't remember ever getting Gretchen a birthday present. And I can't remember if she ever got anything for me either. We always had joint-parties, so I find it inconceivable that we didn't exchange presents.

Hmm. Megan and I were talking about wills and about stuff from Gretchen tonight and that's what made me think about it. Back at the parental homestead, I know that I have a set of marbles that Gretchen got me when I went into the hospital (because I'd lost mine, ha). I remember stickers. For our "Royal Ball" birthday party, we each got magic wands -- I still have mine.

She was the one who named my teddybear "jinglebutt."

I remember mix tapes. I remember writing each other stories. I remember notes that filled entire notebooks. I remember bad poetry about boys in bands and tales that I used to write her in spanish about a parrot and a monkey named (creatively) MI PAPAGAYO y MI MONO (always in all-caps). I remember secret codes (well, their existence) used to write out the lyrics to Guns 'n' Roses songs.

I don't remember birthday presents. It's weird.

Sleepovers

Gretchen slept over at my house A LOT (every weekend if she wasn't grounded, I think). And, when it was just the two of us, sleepovers consisted of staying up all night to:
1. Watch horror movies
2. Watch old movies and play games
3. Plan an upcoming party

Watching horror movies involved a very carefully crafted plan. There were certain requirements. We called them the "Four Cs": Chocolate, Caffeine, Chinese Food, and Cheesy Horror Movies. That was the Platonic ideal of a night watching horror movies. Fortunately, all of those things were available up at Genuardi's. It could take us more than an hour to choose the perfect horror movies. We were looking for certain qualities in the perfect horror movie -- we wanted it to be cheesy and dumb, we wanted there to be some jumping out and scary, and we wanted there to be a cute guy. We never quite managed to find it. But one of our absolute favorites that we did find (no cute guy) was called "...And the Night Brings Charlie." It was, swear to God, about a disfigured tree surgeon in a small town who is suspected of a series of murders. I just found it on the IMDB and the description there just doesn't do it justice. Our other favorite was called "Truth or Dare" but not the Madonna movie -- this was about a guy who goes psychotic and starts playing incredibly violent "truth or dare" with himself (he doesn't realize that it's himself). Our favorite part was during a scene when he's sitting at a campsite playing truth or dare and he dares himself to, well, basically blow his head off. He says "I dare you to put this in your mouth [a grenade] and blow your head off." And he does it. But somehow doesn't die. The movie had obvious places where you could see that they'd stopped tape and applied blood. And when we watched the credits, we could see that half of the cast was related to the casting director [consulting IMDB, I see that it's called "Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness].

Anyhow.
Back to sleepovers.
Old movies were always the same. We watched "Clue," "Grease," "The Sound of Music," and "Saturday Night Fever." Often in that order. It was generally about 3am when "The Sound of Music" went in and that's never a good idea (it's a long movie). Because "Saturday Night Fever" was always last, we almost never saw the end (which is good -- the end is depressing). We sang along to all of the songs in "Grease" and "The Sound of Music." For "The Sound of Music," we actually had callback responses like people do for "Rocky Horror." They were basically inside jokes that we made so many times that we just said them everytime we saw the movie. Many of them involved the oldest son, Friederich, his lederhosen, and how enchanting he felt that he was. Though, I have to admit, it was Megan who shared the obsession with Gayorg von Trapp. When Gretchen was a freshmen in high school, she started dating the Austrian exchange student and she made him watch "The Sound of Music."

While we watched movies, we usually played "Trivial Pursuit." Okay, this is going to sound incredibly dorky, but Gretchen and I used to have all-night Trivial Pursuit marathons. I'm not sure how it started. But we had actual inside jokes about the questions (becasue we'd seen so many of them so many times). Our version of the game involved liberal hinting -- in fact, coming up with hints were the fun parts. Sometimes we also played Scrabble. But we played by our own rules. We played that, if you could make up a convincing sounding meaning for a word, you got to keep it. We once ended up making up the story of a small island in the Pacific called something like OOUUIIBOOO because one of us had a ton of vowels. I actually have all of the words from that written down somewhere. *goes to look*

Ah!
DEIAOUO: lost Haiwian (sic) island that sank into the sea
DEIAOUOER: inhabitant
MEZ: chillibean, believed to be candy
TOX: island form of chicken pox, break out in tic tacs
TALEACERA: expression that means "Gee Bob, did you see Joe fly out of the volcano last night??"
ORRGA: what island chief said when he saw Joe fly out of the volcano
BEDHUE: island fertility spirit -- sat atop bed and blessed you with children if it liked you
CADD: Chiefs Against Drinking and Driving
THOYB: alcoholic drink of choice on island
WOPO: sound Joe made when he hit the ground
SWELDNOVW: chief's name, literally "the counselor of impotent men"
WAAA: sound Joe made while flying through the air
LEGNEF: Joe's widow (Sue)
STOA: island spelling of Joe
DIGA: island music Joe and the island slut were dancing to
SKEIPETS: name of the island slut (Bambi)
SUMP: sound spear (that Sue threw at Bambi) made when it hit Bambi's head
LOQORRGA: name sue called Bambi before killing her (slut)
TRILYNER: Joe and Sue's daughter, became the village slut after Bambi's death (Candee)
AJAN: price for one hour with Candee (34 cents)
NIIIN: sound Sue made when screaming at Candee after learning that she was the village whore
VICDOER: socially acceptable term for whore on the island -- "friendly for money"

Alright -- really no one but Gretchen and I ever needed to know all of that, but it amuses me deeply. I don't know why I felt the need to write it all down in my journal.

Finally, if there was a party coming up, we would plan that. Gretchen and I always threw parties together and always at my house. There was often a theme. There were generally a list of posted rules. I remember one party, the theme was "Randomness is an Art" and we stayed up all night making a "Randomness Packet" that we made everyone read when they got to the party. I wish that I had one of those still. It involved recipies, movie quotes, poetry, excerpts from fiction (definitely some from a romance novel), fun facts (I think that one of them was "Calvin Coolidge liked to wear baggy underwear"). To decorate, we pulled out all of mom's holiday decorations -- we had christmas lights, hanging easter eggs, pumpkin lights, random banners that said things like "Happy Anniversary Tom and Fiona."

I'm not sure if it was the same party, but before one of our parties, we were on three way calling with Amy Geiss and, as we were getting off the phone, either Gretchen and I said that we were waving goodbye. Amy thought waving over the phone was very odd and we couldn't get her to do it. So, determined to get Amy to do something 'silly,' we told her that she had to bring a stuffed animal to the party that night. Amy said she wouldn't. So we told her that we were going to make bringing a stuffed animal an absolute requirement for entrance. And we did. We told everyone and everyone had to bring one. I think that I still have random stuffed animals around my mom's house that belonged to people who forgot them.

Usually, at the end of the night of a sleepover, we would go up to Genuardi's when they opened to get more soda and generally make a nuisance out of ourselves. Then we'd come home and collapse. This was pretty much the program for sleepovers with Gretchen and me. When other people were involved, it changed. But, when it was the two of us, this was commonly the agenda. Things changed a bit once we started to get older, but until I was old enough to drive (I think), this is pretty much how it went.

Okay, that's enough for now.

Songs that Remind me of Gretchen

I just read Christine's post, and then I sat down at my piano with the same old sheet music for Total Eclipse of the Heart that Gretchen always had me play for her when she couldn't sleep. I can barely play the piano anymore. It's been here in my living room for almost a year, but it frustrates me because I can't play remotely as well as I could in high school. I guess that's what happens when you don't play for a decade. I started picking out the notes, lots of missed flats, but then, I came to the chorus, and I stopped looking at the music and it all just came back to me. I must have played it for her one hundred times. I hope Gretchen got to see the movie Bandits. The music of Bonnie Tyler features prominently, and I remember watching it and thinking that I had to call her to tell her to watch it. I'm not sure if I ever did.

So, Gretchen, if you're out there haunting something, go check out Bandits. You'll love Cate Blanchett's character. Really.

Some other Gretchen favorites:

Juice Newton's Angel of the Morning: this is the song to which we were "chair dancing" in the tv stuido

Never Tear Us Apart by INXS: I remember listening to it on repeat during sleepovers

Oh What a Night by Franki Valli: the consummate school dance song, my fondest memory of it is showing up late to some disco dance with Gretchen after a lightning run to the Downingtown Flea Market. In the car on the way back, she decided that we should trade... shoes? entire outfits? that part I don't remember, but I do remember showing up for the dance in some various state of undress due to clothes-trading and convincing the deejay (who thought she was cute) to let us stand on a speaker

Forever Young by Alphaville: Gretchen was one of very few people who realized what this song was actually about, and we loved the irony that it was appropriated as a "romantic" song for school dances

November Rain, Another Brick in the Wall Part II (we started a write-in campaign to make this our prom theme instead of that creepy Live song... Gretchen pointed out that a prom theme shouldn't contain the word "placenta")

I wish I knew what happened to the mix tape she made me.

high school pictures

I was a wreck earlier tonight. I dunno why -- Gretchen's absence just keeps hitting me out of nowhere. I was doing the dishes and I kind of just crumpled up into a little messy, sobby ball. I keep telling myself that crying isn't going to make her come back. It doesn't help. I have this playlist that I put together of all songs that Gretchen liked or that remind me of high school. I lose it everytime "Total Eclipse of the Heart" comes on.

Anyhow -- this is this evenings attempt at solace through the scanning of old photos.

This is (from left to right) Julie Saccente, Sandy Macias, Becky Degler, Gretchen, Me, Gaetan Spurgin, and (in the back) Shawn Proctor. Sandy brought her rat with her too but you can't see him in the picture (he was in a carrier). It must have been an inservice day or something (which would explain why Rachel isn't there). This picture is in the cul-de-sac outside of Gretchen's house. We basically started walking through Chesterbrook and picking up friends on the way to the park.

We went over to Valley Forge Park to this place that Rachel had found once while horseback riding (I recall her not being so thrilled that large groups of us were going there). Basically, it was this old building that you were, uh, perhaps not supposed to go so close to. But we always went and picniced on the roof. You could see people going by on the path below, but there were so many branches that people couldn't really see you. It was amusing. It was really hard to get up there though -- the 'easy' way involved climbing up this steep wall with lots of slippery dirt and sliding rocks. But we always made it. There was also a creek nearby and a small gorge that we liked to play in. The gorge had a giant tree that had fallen down at one point and you could climb halfway up the side of the gorge on the tree. I also remember and old rusted out car, but I'm not sure if I'm making that up in my head.

Anyhow -- here is us just before the picnic. I think, perhaps, the park authorities would have rather that we didn't go up there.



Here's a nice picture of Gretchen and Megan dressed up as preppy schoolgirls. I have no idea why. Gretchen always did try to wear the shortest skirt.



I had totally forgotten about this until I found this photo. Gretchen and I were both in probability and statistics and the night before the midterm (I think) we went over to Langdon's house to study [I think that was the first time that I really spent time with Langdon]. We all studied, I remember there being lizard stickers (Gretchen put one on the steering wheel of my car, which stayed there until, well, until the car was no more). In our studying silliness, we became obsessed with "Mr. Fishie" (alpha) and, after the test, we went over to the classroom for our Prob-Stat teacher (totally don't remember her name) and Gretchen wrote this on the board:


Here's Gretchen with Langdon in the doorway to the classroom right afterwards:


Because Tommy Kelleher emailed me this week, I have two photos of him and Gretchen to share. This first one is just after the junior prom. For reasons I don't understand, Megan, me, Gretchen, and Tommy felt the need to all pile on top of each other in the bus seat on the way to the afterparty on the boat. I think that the person in the stripey shirt is Gaetan. No idea who's sleeping in the seat in front of us.


And this is me, Jeff Taylor, Gretchen, and Tommy before my senior prom (they were all juniors). This is one of the few pictures from before the prom where Jeff doesn't have a small stuffed cat in his vest. We're standing on the back deck of my parents' house.


And, just to be surreal, here is Gretchen in a large ceramic frog:


-Christine

The Yearbook Inscriptions (1994 and 1995... by 1996, i was over high school and didn't have anyone sign my yearbook)

2004:

"Megan, darling- This year has been WONDERFUL! Mr. Shmuck! Minister Smurf/the Red M&M/HIM!/Marty Smurf/Brother Red/Preppy was an unforgettable experience! Pop Rocks! Puff the Magic Dragon! A TOTAL Eclipse of the Heart! (guess what- it makes me cry) RUSH (the saddest movie of all time) Harold & Maude (the coolest movie of all time) Suicide Club (the strangest movie of all time) etc. Mr. Rogers! Hitler- we have four stories. The STORYTELLING FESTIVAL! Root Cellars. Lorena Bobbit. The Shakespeare Festival. TV Studio visits. Dandilion and Clover chains, PROM! Hair Repair! GUYS ARE STUPID! My men, your men. Tom's Party and RICKY! (He had a blast) Batman (the puppet guy) Grease- what color is that car, Megan? All hail Patrick! Chocolate covered cherries! "It won't stay up... I think it's broken." "Mr. Shmuck, my pickle ball went under the bleachers, will you get it for me... PLEASE!" No sodas in the Hobson C Wagner Memorial Auditorium! The theatre arts chick! You can't be late to theatre arts! I quit smoking- AGAIN. Skipping onto the boat. Dancing! Spinning! SLEEPING! Christine's silver dress, the Breakfast Club. The Queen and the Soldier. The Pourhouse Cafe. "How exactly do you go about becoming a gym teacher?" Reclining car seats. "Yes Megan, it's your dress." Lighting dandylion [sic] seeds on fire. Lorena was a battered wife, Lorena had a kitchen knife." "Why don't you like this song Matt?" Matt is GEOGEOUS. Thanks for introducing me to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and folk music and The Giving Tree... and the tree was happy... Mr. McFeely... Little Bunny Foo Foo; a dramatic reading on your answering machine. Only the good die young. Tom's Diner. Shopping in Wayne for Tom and his oh-so-fashionable outfit! You're beautiful and you know in your heart that it's true and that I'm being sincere. THANKS FOR A MARVOLOUS YEAR! Heart you always, GRETCHEN"

2005:

"Megan- Wow! We survived another year! Only one more to go. This one has been interesting: Satanic mindgames (die ******* die), PROMS! and the failed attempt at flashlight tag, your men, my men, Marty-free! (yes, I had to mention the infamous minister smurf), us not speaking to each other even though neither of us was mad, oh, I saw VOYAGER! The greatest band on earth! You leaving theatre, You are a communist! (tee hee!), SMEDS Loves SHEEP (yucky), It's been fun! Oh, I forgot about that GREAT FILM, Slacker! It talks about smurfs. It must be cool... I'm trying to think of something inspirational to say but I'm drawing a blank. I think it has something to do with at least one of three factors: 1) it's 90 degrees outside, 2) it's the last day of classes & 3) in five days, we'll be seniors and it's time to practice the blank look. In reflection: I'm glad that we did Group Therapy, an amazing play. I'm sorry you were denied the opportunity to see it put to life. Desipte the pain-in-the-ass administrative obstacles, we did it, even Scene X, in front of Mr. Cowburn! Wow! CHAIR DANCING KICKS ASS! That tape (at least a segment) will be going on air. I think tomorrow. Well, anyway, love you always, be happy, take care of yourself. Smile. Heart, Gretchen. PS: When you see your friends having fun playing with your things, you should be happy, too."

The play she's talking about, Group Therapy was a pretty damn gutsy move for a bunch of students. It's certainly my proudest moment in high school, and I think it impacted Gretchen as well. Basically, we risked expulsion and all sorts of terrible things to perform a play that I had written, and Gretchen starred in. Our school banned it due to homosexual themes, but Gretchen backed me up and urged me to do it anyway because we felt that it was an important statement. We got in a bit of trouble, but it basically got brushed under the carpet (as did most things in high school) when it turned out that there was a lot of community support for it. Gretch was a rebel and a partner in crime. I've missed that since she hasn't been part of my daily life. These yearbook entries remind me just how much. I believe "Pop Rocks" was a euphamism for boys we liked, some of the quotes are from Mr. Rogers, and the Lorena stuff is from a song I wrote and we used to sing at the top of our lungs.

Oh, a bonus, Gretchen's Senior Quote: "Its necessary 2 have wished 4 death in order 2 know how good it is 2 live.- Dumas. Thanx to my friends- I luv u all! Pop rocks! Red M&Ms, TETV, Fam, Grease, Randomness, NYC, Don't you forget about me. "

How could we?

The Wedding in Pictures, Part 2

The Wedding, in Pictures

The Night Before the Wedding, in Pictures

I had to *not* upload some of the more scandalous ones in order to protect Christine, Langdon's and my reputations.