From Shawn

Shawn sent this to me to post on the blog:

At times during our relationships Gretchen was amazingly kind and charming. She was my first and third “real” girlfriend so there are lots of memories of her that remain wonderful. When I fell for her, I fell hard.

She was smart and talented in a completely effortless way and addictively energetic. People always spoke to me of her modeling potential, but it didn’t really sink in until I went to her modeling school graduation in Philly and she won top honors in her class.

Being with her was like existing inside a wave, forces and tides pulling you along. Then you’d look at the beach and see your towel was suddenly a half a mile away. She had that effect on me and a lot of other people.

There were rough times too. Then as high school romances often do, we ended on a bad note. A whole song of bad notes. We both acted immaturely and petty, as high school kids often do.

In the end, I’m not sure if I really knew Gretchen beyond the face she showed the rest of the world. I always wanted to, but perhaps she wasn’t ready back then. Perhaps I wasn’t either.

I still work with one of her family’s friends and had hoped one day Gretchen and I would get to talking again. “So much drama back then,” I would have said. “I spent most of my day feeling confused about how I was supposed to be feeling then worried about that confusion.”

“Yeah, I’m glad high school’s over,” she would have said, looking at me, studying my expression, listening.

“Me too,” I would have said. “We both turned out all right in the end, huh?”

And she would have just smiled that Cheshire grin, letting the words linger between us.