From Tom

I had a strange friendship with Gretchen. It was three months of being gay friends right before she went to Prague. I met her outside a club on Long Island called Posh. At the time, I was recruiting contestants for a dating show ElimiDate.

I think we bonded quick because the next day when I called her asking her to appear on the show, I realized that neither of us belonged at that stereotypical Long Island club. We bonded over Macintosh computers, her ex-husband's TiVo and a few other nerdy things.

Not long after, she wound up going out with me while I recruited. There was something about her. She was smart and beautiful yet having a nerdy soul. She brought the best out of me. She reminded me of some of my best friends.

I have a gift of making a conversation last about a minute too long. She had a way of helping me end on a high note . . . before I put my foot in my mouth.

The most fun I had with her was at a celebrity fundraiser for a charity that buys Christmas toys for poor kids two years ago. In fact, I'm not sure if it was two years ago tonight exactly . . . but this year's event was tonight that's one of the reasons why I'm thinking of her.

The celebrity bartenders included Richard Belzer from Law and Order SVU, Diane Lane the DA From Law and Order SVU and Ted McGinley who has been on TV since the 70s (he was on the Love Boat, Hope and Faith, and was Marcy Darcy's husband on Married with Children).

Gretchen made a point of having each of those and a few other celebrities talking to us. While I was catching up with friends she would be talking to a new actor or actress. She wouldn't let Richard Belzer leave unless he did a
shot with us. She had Ted McGinley sharing stories about different comics he's met over the years.

It was her energy I missed. When she was happy it was infectious. I didn't know her long enough to get to know her sad and serious side. It makes me sad to know that her highs had equally powerful lows.

The biggest impact Gretchen had on my life was nudging me to follow up on making a short film idea I had. By the time I had it done, I had fallen out of touch with her and it was before the YouTube revolution.

What's funny is . . . also today, I signed a development deal with a production company based on my IHateWeddings.com web-site and this video I made. In the video, I took my cousin's wedding video and had comedians make fun of it.

Gretchen's advice, which she repeated several times, was essentially to grow some balls and just do it.

She's been away far longer than I knew her. Were it not for the internet, I may not know she was gone forever. Yet for the short time I knew her she had an impact on my life. I wish I was able to share this little piece of success with her. She was my friend and my muse.

I hope that the timing of all of these coincidences means she knows how grateful I am to have known her.