I remember.

It's been over a year and a half. The strangest thing is looking at photographs of Gretchen and not really the photograph itself; it's her smile in the pictures that ails me to no end. Photographs are prisons. There is no single song, collection of words or amount of tears that can vindicate what happened. So I won't justify it. I'll just remember. I'll remember that it's a choice, to live, to die. Every second is a choice. To be or not to be. It's a decision and the only thing I can do is respect & remember. And I do. I miss you, Gretchen. I miss you beyond my own ability to understand.
“My dear it was a moment
to clutch at for a moment
so that you may believe in it
and believing is the act of love, I think,
even in the telling wherever it went”
-Anne Sexton

These photographs are from my good-bye party in Prague which was "white trash" themed, hence the attire. They're pretty funny, I love them.

Much love to you all,

Niko.